


All Woods Must Fail

by UniquelyMyOwn



Series: I Am No One [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Finn, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, M/M, Memory Loss, Mind Control, Slow Burn, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-07-14 12:57:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7172687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniquelyMyOwn/pseuds/UniquelyMyOwn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Finn fighting for the First Order, it seems like darkness has set into the lives of the people who love him most. Helpless but not hopeless, they will find a way to bring him back out from the darkened woods of Snoke's control and  into the light were he belonged. Because, in the end, all woods must fail and Finn will return home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Demon Agent

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of my previous story: I Am No One. You don't need to read it to jump into this one. Enjoy.

O! Wanderers in the shadowed land

Despair not! For though dark they stand,

All woods there be must end at last,

And see the open sun go past:

The setting sun, the rising sun,

The day's end, or the day begun.

For east or west all woods must fail. --JRR Tolkein

* * *

The Agent touched his ear as he ducked out another room, “ETA Royce?”

“Give me another minute” A woman's voice spoke with clarity, “The encryption on this damn thing is taking longer than I thought.”

“Understood.” The man adjusted his black leather jacket, checking his phaser's ammo. “Monk?”

“Our forces are keeping them busy in the air, however there's a ground unit coming our way.”

The dark skinned man ran into another room, easily killing the four occupants. Taking a cursory glance, he noted there was nothing of worth and moved out into the darkened hallway. The red emergency lights lit the way, throwing everything in an eery glow. “You know what to do Snipe.”

“Aye.”

“Got it!” Crowed Royce, “Just sent a signal to our air support, they know what to do from here.”

A chorus of praise echoed the comms but Agent found himself unable to feel the same enthusiasm. The sense of wrongness always weighed heavily with him, but he refused to show it to anyone. Any form of weakness was not welcomed in the First Order, not even to special ops soldiers such as he.

“Meet me at the main hallway” He began to head back with his guns raised. Though he was confident in his getting rid of any problematic personnel, he still played it safe.

“Be there in five Agent.”

Agent was there in three minutes.

He could hear the shouts of agony from the doorway a hundred yards to his left. Snipe was doing his job perched atop a tree with his trusty phaser rifle picking off anyone the Monk hadn't already disposed of. They were a great unit. The best in the First Order, hand picked by Supreme Leader Snoke and saved from horrible situations created by the Resistance. They were all grateful to him. It was because of his foresight that they were able to infiltrate and destroy key strongholds within the Resistance. Finally, after a year on the brink of loosing, they were gaining the upper hand. Between Hux's troopers, Kylo's jedi training and Supreme Leader Snoke's cleverness, they were on the upswing with momentum that left the Resistance slime reeling. Once again, Agent should be elated. The Resistance was loosing and within months they will be nothing but a smudge in the history books. If he were honest; all he felt was numbness so bone-deep it makes him question his humanity on a daily basis. He didn't care about who he killed, he didn't lament his mother's death like he feels most would. Her death was the reason for him joining the First Order but that felt like a hollow, distant memory. Hell, he couldn't remember her face. Perhaps, after this was all over, he'll be able to feel again.

He doubted it.

Noting the subtle shift, Agent glanced back at his returned comrade. Her pixie hair cut was dyed a deep magenta and brought out her bright green eyes. She was a spit fire who hated the Resistance more than anyone in his squad, though she never elaborated why. None of them did, their stories far too tragic to bear retelling. Especially to people you've only worked with for a few months. They worked well together, but it didn't make them friends, at least in Agent's eyes it didn't. Friends were nothing more than a liability. Throwing a phaser at her approaching figure, Agent began walking towards the exit.

“How's our return looking?”

“All clear” Came the Monk's calm voice. “They're all dead, but there's another squad coming in from the east, best not tarry.”

“Snipe, you're now grounded with me. Monk, take Royce to the ship. Her information is priority one.”

“Roger” The group simultaneously replied.

Agent watched as Monk and Royce disappeared into the overgrowth before turning his back. Adjusting his red demon mask, he made for cover. They had some more time but he didn't bother talking to Snipe. The man knew what to do just as well as Agent did. Maybe today is the day he'll die?

Firing off a shot to the first person who emerged from the shrubbery he mused as he watched their body crumple; perhaps he will come out of this just fine.

* * *

Poe hated giving up, but he wasn't proud enough to not throw his gun down when he knew they were beat. Glancing over to Jessika, Rey and Joosten he winced as they followed his lead. He hoped to whatever gods there were that this would work.

“What the hell?” Rey's serene face contorted to one of shock as a red-demon masked man came out from hiding. He was covered in black leathers with the First Order emblem on the upper left chest of his jacket. Shortly after, the other culprit came down from a nearby tree. He wore black leather but instead of a mask, an over-sized hood hid his face. Another emblem was emblazoned dead center of both their chests and Poe felt his breath catch. This was the new group the First Order just unleashed into the galaxy. The half-faced skull of a humanoid was disquieting, the hollow eyes left goosebumps on his skin. They were the Harbingers and they left a pile of cold corpses in their wake. Still, Poe couldn't understand her outburst. They were prepared for the possibility of coming across the First Order's new mercenary group headed by the red-masked man known by no other name than Agent. In fact, they wanted to encounter them.

“What the hell did they do to you?!” Rey completely broke script. They were supposed to capture Agent and his accomplices, not attack them! She had her lightsaber on as she charged the demon-masked man.

“Rey!” Poe and Jessika simultaneously yelled.

His breath was caught in his throat as he watched the man shift his weight and turn on electro-magnetic blockers that covered him from wrist to elbow. Their enemy was poised like a scorpion, his red mask glinting in the afternoon sun as he fluidly ducked and side-stepped away from Rey's attacks. He used his blockers to catch the next lightsaber attack and push her back. The demon-masked Agent retained his alert posture but made no move to go on the offensive. Whoever this guy was, he was good and that unsettled Poe.

“Tch, women” Joosten spat a globule of tobacco on the ground before he kicked up the nearest phaser and had it pointed at the hooded man. His grey hair was pulled back in a short pony tail, showing off a nasty scar that wrapped from his right ear, across his chin and down the left side of his neck. The man was scary on the field, and was one of Han's best friends back in his youth. The only reason he joined was because he owed Han a big debt and figured five years serving under a woman was the right kind of torture Han Solo would accept as payment. “Move and I'll blow your damn balls off”

Jessika grabbed her own gun and had it pointed at the same person Joosten was, which left Poe to gawk at Rey who backed off her attack after hearing Joosten's threat.

“Take off that mask” Rey spoke in a harsh whisper. The demon Agent cocked his head to his side as though he were considering her demand before he rapidly unholstered and shot his phaser at Joosten before grabbing Rey and head locking her in front of him, using her as a shield to ward off any possible offensive attacks by the others.

Joosten cursed as he fell to the ground, his arm was barely hanging on by a few tendons. Poe and Jessika immediately took cover and began firing at the hooded man instead, keeping their eyes on the fight between their Jedi and the Demon between shots.

Rey immediately slipped the Agent's hold and force pushed him into the side of the compound, but not hard enough to leave the Agent winded. Calmly, the demon-masked man found his footing. His arm guards buzzing and turning a dull red as he squared off with Rey. The Sniper backed off his attack and re-joined Agent as a piercing wail made everyone flinch and look up. TIE fighters were coming in from multiple directions. Their guns all pointed at the compound and suddenly everyone's spines straightened with dread.

Poe's eyes widened as he and Jessika traded knowing looks, “Get the hell out! They're going to bomb the base!”

Poe stood, pulling Joosten up and began running, knowing Jessika and Rey weren't far behind.

“Why are they not following?!” Jessika glanced over her shoulder as a barrage of missiles began decimating the compound. The earth shook enough to make it difficult when retreating but they cleared the area fast enough that they only felt the blistering heat of the explosions.

“Because they didn't need to” Joosten spat, “Didn't you see the speeder in the bushes? They got away jus' fine.” His voice was condescending as he further spoke: “An' whatever happened to the plan, Jedi? Ya know the whole capture them by luring them inta false sense of security and all that shit?” Annoying as that man was, he did have a good point. Poe looked over to Rey and waited for her to elaborate. Meeting his eyes, Rey's face morphed into one of broken, utter regret.

“Poe...” She whispered as she wrapped her arms around herself, “I sensed Finn back there...” Like a punch to his gut, Rey delievered the news:

“He's their Agent.”


	2. I Am More Than This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's difficult forging your own path. That's why it's easier to do what you're told without questioning the why's behind the commands. Keep your head down, say yes sir, complete your task and move on. Should be simple, right?

We will meet again my friend,  
A hundred years from today  
Far away from where we lived  
And where we used to play.  
We will know each others' eyes  
And wonder where we met  
Your laugh will sound familiar  
Your heart, I won't forget.  
We will meet, I'm sure of this,  
But let's not wait till then . . .  
Let's take a walk beneath the stars  
And share this world again.  
\--Anonymus

* * *

 

Agent never felt so hollow as he did facing off those four people. Especially the fiery eyed brunette who attacked him. It was as though he had an out of body experience as he swiftly dodged most of her emotionally-fueled attacks. Her yelling at him like they met before didn't unsettle him in the slightest. He had come across a few people who spat the word traitor or asked why on their dying breath and after the first time, he lost any compunction to dwell on them.  
What did unsettle him was the man with a messy mop of hair and expressive eyes. He felt his heart rate speed up as they locked eyes briefly and his stomach felt odd, as though he had a million butterflies taking off. That was very unusual for him, usually emotions and any attachments of that sort where squashed but these odd feelings regarding that man couldn't be doused by any method of repression he knew and it bothered him to the core. What was so special about this man? Agent would remember if they'd ever interacted, right?  
Shaking his head, he looked up to take stock of his team. Crammed as they were into this small transport vessel, everyone remained straight backed and quiet, not even touching one another. It was always like this, all four of them being deeply contemplative after a mission gone well. At first their pilot would attempt some conversation, but after a few missions he had learned it was best not to disturb anyone from their thoughts; his broken arm still in it's cast was a great reminder of that one simple rule.  
They were still a day and a half away from their safe house where they'll await orders on what to do next. Normally, Snoke would talk to each of them himself, but he was a busy man who was fully committed to training Kylo Ren. Apparently that brunette woman he faced off with was stronger than Kylo was. Agent didn't see it, after all; were Jedi's not supposed to have emotions? That female certainty had it in spades.  
“Janice” Snipe murmured, his eyes slowly opening.  
Agent made eye contact with Snipe who blinked a few more times. Snipe has been saying that name for a while now like a mantra but even he carried a confused look every time he caught himself saying that name.  
“What was that sir?” The storm trooper glanced away from his controls to look over his shoulder. What he saw made him quickly apologize and turn his head back to were it ought to be.  
Snipe had quite the glare on him that would make anyone quake in their boots. If he were a different person, Agent could see himself befriending the Khommite. As it was, they were merely a unit of four individuals brought together by their mutual hatred of the Resistance.  
“Have you ever thought,” Snipe softly spoke, “That we are more than what we are?”  
Agent was confused at this question. He never thought he could be more, nor did he believe in a future where more was heavier than a whimsical thought. More implied hope to a person such a him, a weapon; a tool meant only to spill blood until too dull to be effective.  
More, what a crazy, romantically tragic thought.  
A sharp, stabbing pain to his temple caused him to hold his forehead and bite his tongue to hold in the painful gasp.  
He was more! A voice shouted, he is more! The voice grew louder and louder with other voices joining in before he was enveloped in a searing light that pierced straight through his tightly shut eyes and overwhelmed him with the ferocious intensity of pain he had never experienced in his life.  
I AM....were the last shouted words over a cacophony of voices before all went silent and dark.

* * *

  
I can't do this!  
Poe clenched his jaw as he stood next to Rey who told the room full of commanding officers what she discovered. It wasn't any of their business and with half of them wearing smug looks and murmuring that they always knew Finn was a good-for-nothing traitor; it made Poe want to throw a chair at the wall. His anger was more tightly coiled, like a viper twitching to strike and Poe found himself at odds. Sure, in his teenage youth he was a hormonal boy who had everything to prove to a world he believed was against him, but Poe thought he outgrew this roiling anger. Seems like Finn was always the exception to the rule, plus, Poe absolutely despised half of the bastards wearing the command garb on principle, but listening to their snide remarks further cemented his hatred of them.  
“Storm Trooper scum.”  
“He deserves to rot in hell, dunno why we didn't outright kill the maggot, had my gun trained on him and everything-”  
They know nothing! He silently fumed. Finn was not a traitor, they did something to him, Rey even said so a moment ago you ignorant bastards! He kept clenching and unclenching his fists behind his back hoping to relieve some tension, but no no avail.  
“As Rey stated” The General cut through the growing murmurs and half-whispers, “Finn's mentality is compromised-”  
“How do we know she isn't just saying that to protect her friend?” The same commander Poe punched a few months ago spoke up. “This Finn character played everyone from the beginning-”  
“To what end Commander?” General Leia glared at the man, “Finn was not privy to any vital information and he gave us a lot in return.”  
“He knew where Echo Bravo Kappa base was located” The commander fired back with all the airs of a rich upbringing lacing his snobbish tone, “And they just destroyed our main communications base that held all of our trade routes and those whom we hold contracts with! Both places were ones the storm trooper has been to multiple times.” Storm trooper was said with such derisive disdain that it felt like it was meant to be a slur on Finn.  
“The dark side has multiple ways of getting information out of anyone” Poe spoke up, “I fought tooth an nail against Kylo's dirty mind tricks but in the end he was able to know my deepest secrets.” He hated reliving that horrible event, much less doing it in front of bigoted bastards who were too far into the political game that they couldn't see the war clearly.  
“Be that as it may Mister-”  
“Commander Poe Dameron” Correcting him, Poe met the man with a formidable glare, “Do not forget we are equals here Commander Cusic, further more, if you have nothing to contribute to this meeting other than your misguided hatred and unwanted opinions, I kindly ask that you remove yourself so that we may work towards solving an issue.”  
“Well, Commander Dameron” He sneered back, “The issue is already solved: kill the traitor and be done with it.”  
“How can you so easily throw someones life away?” Rey's voice was oddly calm and caused the two men to pause in their argument. Her gaze was on the floor as she spoke further, “To dismiss someone who may need help shows how little you care.”  
“It's a war” Cusic caustically responded. His patronizing gaze swept around the room, causing a few to chuckle at her expense, “Life will be lost, but I ask you this Princess” His gaze went back to General Leia, “How much resources will you use up for just one person? Further more, how many of us are you willing to let go if we do not see eye-to-eye?”  
The entire room waited on baited breath as the line was so clearly drawn for their leader. Cusic was foremost a politician, second most an excellent strategist. The rest fell into place with the powerful people he surrounded himself with. Leia knew how much of an utter bastard he was and wasn't one to play along with his games nor cater to those who threw his name around like it was gold. That being said, Poe knew the verdict when she met his eyes.

* * *

  
Finn awoke with a suddenness. His eyes snapped open with his senses on high alert until he realized where he was.  
Stark walls, metal ceiling, one lonely, open window and a very uncomfortable cot.  
The safe house. His mind supplied as he sat up. His chest was bare and he fought the urge to wince. One of his team members undressed him; more importantly, he had fainted on them. Such weakness was unbecoming of a leader he thought.  
Pushing aside the blanket, he stood from his small cot and went about his morning routine. Emerging from his room thirty minutes later, he noted that the only one awake was Snipe. The male was always an early riser, but what Agent appreciated most was his silence. The Khommite never initiated conversation and rarely spoke when addressed.  
“What did you mean on the ship?”  
“Our names mostly, “ his gravely voice didn't carry far so Agent drew nearer until he sat opposite of Snipe at their tiny dining table. “I do not believe our names are as they are.”  
Agent silently agreed, but he was torn between further delving into the more complicated implication or dismissing it and moving onto a safer topic.The reaction towards the man and woman a few days ago...that instinct to protect more than destroy. Hell, he felt! For the first time in however long back his memories allowed; he had feelings! Gut reactions that he didn't believe in until that very moment when he made eye contact with that man. He had a reaction to the situation and that cold numbness abated. Transiently, he wasn't a killing machine; he was human.  
For a long moment, Agent watched his companion; realizing that he'll take Agent's lead if he chose to speak no further, but he had a burning curiosity suddenly sparked by Snipe's words and he could not put it out should he try anyways.  
“I feel that as well.” Admitting that left him feeling raw. He wasn't supposed to admit weakness as the leader of this rag-tag group of misfits. However; it was said and what is said can never be unspoken.  
“I can't kill children.” The Khommite looked away as though he were baring his soul, and to an extent, Agent could empathize with it. He was going through a similar crisis currently after all. Even so, there was something to be said about someone admitting their failings for another to hear; stupid came first, perhaps brave as an afterthought. Either way, the male before him never was this forthright, it only made sense that Agent returned it in kind.  
“I believe I am more than just this name” He whispered in solidarity. Letting it hang between them like a noose.  
“The bigger question here is this: do we go with our gut?” Agent looked up to watch the Khommite and saw understanding flicker across his face. If they do decide to go on this dangerous path in the middle of the war, what will become of them when the path ends? Is it even worth exploring knowing naught what they're seeking? They may not even like what they find...  
“That Jedi seemed to know you.”  
That was all the confirmation Agent needed before he nodded his head. “Can we trust the other two?”  
“What do your instincts say?”  
Instincts? His instincts were at war with each other, one side screaming to stay away from this path while the other begged him to pursue it agenda free from the almighty flex of the First Order. This uncertainty left him breathless, the last time he felt this was when...was when he was younger perhaps, when his mother died? No, his brain murmured through the fog, it was a recent event that forged the way of unbreakable friendships-  
The buzzing in his head forced Agent to shake his head before focusing his gaze once again.  
“Yeah...okay, we're doing this.” Agent left out a heavy breath, feeling his shoulders tense as millions of thoughts and plans began formulating. Scratching his chin he spoke with such a heaviness that Snipe's posture straightened, “If we're going to start, all four of us, then we must not tell anyone, including the Supreme Leader.”  
“Agreed”  
“This is crazy.”  
“Agreed.”  
Agent stood and walked away to the back window overlooking a vast sea. For such a big decision, Agent felt an odd mixture of peace and anxiety. He was sure that what they're about to do is nothing short of suicidal but with just as much conviction did he know in his heart that this was right.  
He was more than just a killing machine. He just didn't know what more entailed. He knew his past just like they all did, but why then, did the Jedi attack him with such raw emotion? Like they knew one another? Why did he hesitate so much when battling her? Why did he want to hug that unruly haired man and never let him go?  
Not all is what it seems and Agent is gradually finding that his dull, removed outlook was being replaced with an alien feeling of determination. With that, a brief flash of an orange jumpsuit clad man came to mind.  
“Who's Poe?” He murmured to the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for your patience, this chapter was re-written four times and deleted twice (on purpose) but I think it's a pretty decent chapter overall. I hope you all enjoyed it, I can't wait to see how FInn's character progresses or regresses depending on how events fall into place. Do you think his team is trustworthy? What about Cusic and him forcing Leia's hand? Stay tuned for the next installment whenever my next full day off is!


	3. Hard Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's rarely easy to forsake all you know in order to achieve all you want. What you want, rarely is easily obtained. Sacrifices must be made and a little bit of yourself will forever be left behind. Question is: will it be worth it in the end? Or shall one go back to the comfort of familiarity and forsake all that could be in order to feel that false sense of security?   
> It's decision time.

Chapter Three: Hard Choices

* * *

  
_"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. "~Alan Alda_

* * *

 

 

Poe sat on a large grassy knoll with Rey, overlooking the base they sat in silence. Neither of them were happy with the General's verdict, and to a point, Poe felt betrayed. The General enjoyed and respected Finn like most everyone on the base, she knew just how much of an asset he was and knew that he could never willingly betray them. Despite knowing, she still said that no further resources would be allotted to the capture of Finn. She said that the safety of the many outweighed the few and Cusic couldn't have left that meeting showing just how smug he was of the outcome. Nor could that bastard stop telling all who were willing to hear how he knew the General would side in his favor.  
Poe had waited to argue as people slowly dispersed, but the General gave him a look that spoke volumes and only said to him that if he argued, he'd be put on suspension for an indefinable time period. So, Poe followed his gut.  
“Do you think” He broke the silence, still keeping his gaze on the base, “That we can do this, just the three of us?” BB-8 beeped an affirmative while Rey remained silent for a few more minutes.  
Poe didn't want to betray his anxiety to Rey. He was on suspension, but leaving the base was on a whole different playing field. It was desertion at its finest and Poe's stomach knotted at the thought of being labeled as a rogue and traitor. The pilot was leaving everything behind for rescuing one man who may kill him next they meet because he forgot all about Poe.  
Suddenly, he was hit with the realization that this was what Finn probably felt like when he deserted the First Order. The gnawing uncertainty, knowing that the universe is vast but altogether too small with the creeping paranoia that what is being sought may never be obtained. Too many variable unknowns to contend with, it left him feeling itchy with barely contained anxiety.  
“I can find him” She finally spoke, “But he's not the Finn we know.”  
“Doesn't matter, when we find him he'll remember.” Poe smiled at the young woman hoping one of them believed that line, “It might not be immediately, but Finn is stubborn and he'll find a way back.”  
With a small smile, Rey looked up, “Yeah, that's Finn.”  
“That's Finn” He confirmed, his heart feeling lighter at the prospect of getting his friend and potential lover back.

* * *

  
Meanwhile on Tyrros' moon...  
“Fuck!” Royce cursed as she ducked behind the console, “Stupid Resistance scum!”  
“Less talking” Agent's voice reprimanded over their communication links.  
“You try breaking a five layer encryption while being shot at!” She hissed as she reconnected her data pad to their system.  
“Protecting you is hard enough” Monk gritted as he became surrounded by armed men. As he braced for impact, five silent beams of red light hit his would-be-killers dead in the chest. “Thanks, Snipe.”  
“Just once, can we just sneak in undetected!” Royce grumbled as her fingers flew across the screen. Blinking away blood from a superficial cut above her eyebrow, she froze mid stroke.  
“Just once can you do as I say?”  
“I don't want to go to that conference father. Most of them do not know a data port from an ion-fused processor!”  
“Sharing knowledge is of the utmost importance dear, we have a part to play if we want The First Order gone.”  
Jarred from her trance, she looks into the red mask of their fearless leader, “Times up!”  
“But I only got the superficial files!”  
Agent yanked her to her feet, ignoring her cursing protests as he crudely disconnected her pad from the enemy's mainframe.  
“You'll have to tell Hux why you failed in your part of the mission when you give him your formal report.”  
“What about Supreme Leader Snoke?” She pulled away from his grip as she put away her tech. Stopping only for a moment to grab a blaster from Agent she looked up at his red-porcelean face.  
“He is busy.”  
Her skin crawled at the thought of what him being busy entailed. She thought of days long torture sessions and painful medicines being pumped through her veins.Abruptly, she was pulled down.  
“You're quickly becoming a liability.”  
Right. Escape, no time to dwell on those random, meaningless thoughts.  
“Sorry.”  
It was hours later on their small transport ship that the four sat around the cramped cargo bay. Having already given their report to a frustrated Hux, they were told to await further orders on their first ever failed mission.  
Failure was a bitter taste to all of them, having never before lost this badly since they became a team. However; it was necissary.  
They had to botch the entire mission in order to obtain files that didn't fall within their official mission perameters. They had to fail in order to draw away the suspicious paltry amount of information on the Resistence and their secret trader agent. A man who, somehow calculated trade routes so damn well that when the First Order even had a clue as to the what's and whens, he would immediately change it all. The guy was clever and the First Order hated a secondary enemy that worked outside of their enemies perameters and only contrived his own.  
Whoever that guy was, his identity was stoutly defended and Agent could careless. The Order's endgame was no longer his priority. All that mattered is that they obtained information they were seeking, not the Order, not anyone else.  
“Report” Agent ordered.  
Grabbing her data pad, Royce projected the files before them, “There's nothing much I was able to grab except this...” Pressing in a sequence the pages dissapeared and instead the face of Snipe appeared along with basic information. “ Arlan T'mon” She stated, “Look familiar?”  
The Khommite grimaced, flexing his hands on the table, “It sounds familiar-”  
“Sniper for the Rebellion, status: retired” Royce whispered, “Wanted by the First Order.”  
A heavy silence fell upon the group, in one seemingly botched mission they obtained information they secretly hoped wouldn't confirm their suspicions.  
“It has me and Monk too.” Her voice grew ever more incredulous as secret files hidden behind dull weather reports were uncovered. “We had families” Her voice grew the more she became angry, “We had lives!!” She stood and began pacing, waving her hands in the air, “But what the hell?! They're not fabricated, those files pre-date us! I would know I-”  
“What then of our memories?” Monk calmly questioned, “Our beliefs? Are they fictations created by the First Order or is the Resistence more clever than we give them credit?”  
“There's only one way to find out.” Agent took off his mask and set it aside. He didn't want to dwell on the fact that nothing in those files mentioned him. Royce- or rather Terran Warfield was only able to grab a crumb of information that left them all wanting more, and he supposed he wouldn't be better off than the others if he were mentioned. At the least, one of them had to be level-headed. “Royce-”  
“Terran” She corrected with anger flashing in her eyes.  
“For the purpose of this and any other missions, we should stick to what the First Order named us. We cannot afford any kind of slip ups shall this information become confirmed” Agent met her eyes with his own unwavering gaze. They were still a group and he was still their leader, he'd be damned if they fell apart this close to figuring out what all was going on, if there was something going on at all. “We are going to discretely hack the First Order's systems.”  
“And what of us?” Monk asked waving between the three males, “What shall we do to tide the time?”  
“We plan and start reconnasaince. We need to find that Jedi and see what all she knows.”  
“And what about you? Who are you?” Royce bit back, still coming down from her confused-fueled rage.  
“I am your leader” He answered without missing a beat, “And we are a team, we'll take new information as it comes and deal with it together. If we fall apart now, no one will be picking up the pieces.”  
“Well stated.” Monk replied as he stood up and began heading towards the console near the ship's steering system.  
Royce soon departed towards the team's shared quarters which left the Agent to watch as the Khommite grappled with whatever thoughts were crashing in his mind. Agent refused to leave him by himself, knowing that finding yourself was a difficult and often daunting process, especially when you believed in only one way for most of your life. The shock could be monumental and left you feeling oddly bereft.  
“It sucks” He found himself saying to the Khommite, “And it's hard, but letting go of what you thought you knew and embracing everything that could be or is, is refreshing. I don't know how I know that but I firmly believe in the truth of it. I'm here for you.” He pat his companion on the shoulder and just sat next to him, saying nothing more for the rest of their journey to the nearest First Order Station.  
He had his own thoughts to contend with, especially his sudden understanding and empathy for his fellow comrades when, before, he could careless how people felt or coped as long as his team produced results the First Order demanded from them. Agent was changing and he wasn't entirely sure how he felt. Emotions were a bizarre thing and now, he was full of them. What a mess, he angrily thought.

* * *

  
If Poe was his younger self and not wholly in love, he would be enjoying the night life of this random far-off planet. The neon lights were bright enough to make this evening seem like it was early morning accompanied by the low buzz they made that was greatly overshadowed by the plethora of people going from place to place in various states of sobriety. What kept his gaze from straying like many others was his focus on Rey who was not used to the pulsing beats of the various clubs strewn on this planet, nor the naked aliens blatantly offering up their goods for the right price. This planet was definitely a shocker to those who were unfamiliar with sin in any form. It would've been such a delight to have Finn here by his side and see him gape at all this planet offered. Poe could just imagine the dark skinned man pointing and asking what things meant and why were people doing something.  
Instead, he was with Rey looking for a Hutt by the name of Felix. Their source told them he'd be located in the seediest club by the name of Run. He didn't have time to think over how fitting the name was as they found the darkened club with black and blue strobe lights passing over the curtained windows. Two bouncers stood at the entrance, not for line management (for there was no line of eager party goers), but rather to screen all who wanted to enter primarily for business purposes.  
It's not like much was illegal on Yertfifth- Fore, hell, there were minimal policing on the planet and the code was fairly simple: if you didn't see it, it didn't happen, and if you did see it, act like it didn't happen. Drugs and sex were what made the planet one of the richest in its quadrant, a planet catered to all sorts of tastes.  
Except for murder of course, that was bad for business.  
“My head is hurting” Rey admitted as they made their way towards the bouncers.  
“You'll get used to it” Poe was lying and judging by her look, she didn't believe him.  
They stopped by the door, going through the typical pat down and scanners which Rey managed to short. The bouncers cursed as their tech didn't turn on, no matter how hard they slapped it and grugingly let the two of them through.  
It wasn't hard to miss a Hutt. Even if you were blind you couldn't miss their species nor their stench. Felix sat recumbent, surrounded by naked men and women with a cigar in one hand and the other hand otherwise preoccupied on a humanoid's reproductive organ.  
“What brings a Jedi here?” He spotted them but otherwise remained largely unaffected by their presence, this was his domain and he knew he was untouchable.  
Poe, who was the only one of the two that spoke Hutt, replied. “We're looking for information on the First Order's Harbingers.”  
A few people stopped what they were doing for a moment before going back to drinking and dancing but Poe was acutely aware that he now had a large audience. Judging by how minutely tense Rey became, she too knew that their position was precarious at best. There were undoubtedly First Order sympathizers in the crowd and Poe would be surprised if they made it out of the club without so much of a slur thrown their way.  
“What kind of information.” The Hutt smiled smugly as his partner gasped and came, much to the undisguised disgust of Rey. The Hutt was trying to unsettle them but Poe was once a wild partier when he was in his early twenties and had seen and experienced it all. Nothing phased him when it came to public acts of carnal pleasure.  
“Anything you got.” Poe didn't want to give away any specifics even if they were alone with Felix. The Hutt was in the business of information and everything came at a premium. It didn't matter whose side you took, it all came down to what you had to offer.  
“What I have you may not be able to pay for.”  
“Depending on the amount and specificity of your information, we could negotiate a price.” Poe easily fired back. He could deal with Hutts and their slippery ways, it was like playing poker in a fashion.  
“Come with me to my office.” Felix pushed aside his companions and began slithering towards the back with Rey and Poe following closely behind.  
Somehow Poe felt more tense the further back they went, no one ever trusted a Hutt and lived to tell the tale.  
Catching Rey's eyes, they silently readied themselves for whatever may come their way.

* * *

  
The nightmares became worse for Monk. Agent entered the room and sat on the chair closest to Monk's cot. The dreaming man never moved or tossed like one would normally do when in the darkest throes of a dream. What he did, however; was shout and scream and beg until he would open his eyes and attack Agent like a man possessed, and Agent would dodge until Monk realized what he was doing. Agent would then go to the training facility on base with Monk following closely behind. The two hours spent in the predawn mornings would go a long way in soothing both their troubled minds. It never truly alleviated the dawning truth of the First Order nor did it help with their newly found conscience that the deeds they did-the horrors they wrought in the name of personal slights that were probably fabricated by the galaxy's most powerful villain- may have been a gruesome mistake.  
They were murderers.  
It was okay for them when they were operating under the pretense that they had done it all their lives. Now, though, they uncovered files of who they could've been and to cement their findings they were actively tracking down the Jedi who may help them unblock their memories...or confirm that they were indeed monsters like Snoke had claimed to recruit and band together.  
Even so, Agent didn't have the nightmares like Monk, nor did he have a deep emotional connection to seemingly mundane things like Royce. All he had were brief, forgettable flashes and his gut instincts.  
Stepping out of the refresher, Agent let out a frustrated sigh. Even in this group of misfits, he was vastly different. He wasn't normal by any stretch and his lack of memories concerned him. What if he were the only monster in the group? What if they get their memories and remember that he's exactly what Snoke said he was?  
Would he then have to kill them? Could he even do it?  
“We have a mission from Hux” Snipe entered Agent's room, paying no mind to his nakedness.  
“What is it?” Agent wrapped a nearby towel around his waist, reaching for the disc. The missions were coming in at a more frequent rate now that Hux had complete control over their unit, Snoke was finalizing Kylo Ren's training and Agent was secretly glad of it. He had a feeling, at the start of their formation, that these one on one sessions with the Supreme Leader were just him testing how strong the barriers where that held their memories at bay, which brought him back to the matter at hand;  
“Recon” The Khommite answered, “On a planet not far from here, the female Jedi was spotted.”  
Agent fought the urge to smile and ignored the happy feeling bubbling from his chest at the mention of the female Jedi. Those emotions would be best kept at bay and further analyzed when he had some time alone. “Looks like the universe is on our side for the moment.” Uploading the information onto his data pad, he summarized the instructions:  
“We are to figure out the why and where she's going. We are not to engage with her unless an opportunity presents itself, secondarily we are to establish that the First Order does not tolerate the harboring of wanted fugitives.”  
“And what of us?” The question would seem misplaced to an outsider but Agent knew what he was referring to.  
“We will not engage the Jedi while we run the risk of it being reported back, but we will approach her carefully when we can and ask the questions we want answered.”  
“And if we're really who Supreme Leader said we are?”  
Agent looked out his tiny window to the barren, desert landscape beyond. He frowned. That was a heavy question. Would they continue on knowing that they were truly horrible people of the First Order? It was familiar, not quite home, and would be easy to just fall back into and forget this all happened.  
“Then we will regroup” He finally spoke, “Even if we are truly villains, that doesn't mean we have to remain so. And to be honest with you Snipe, the fact that we're contemplating this possibility shows how little we are what the First Order says we are. Cold-blooded killing machines continue on even in the face of facts and we have stuttered to a stop, even myself.”  
Looking away, he watched the Khommite for a second, unsure of how to continue on. He was still new regarding this emotions showing before his team mates, but they trusted him in their moments of weakness, and it is only fair he shows them that he is human too.  
In a singular breath he spoke heavily, “I am scared too.”

* * *

  
Of course the Hutt would sell them out! Poe gritted his teeth as he helped maneuver the Millennium Falcon off that rock and plotting coordinates to the nearest repair dock on a dwarf planet a few hours away.  
Rey was silently fuming at the lost opportunity and Poe couldn't blame her. The Hutt showed tidbits of information about the Harbingers, their confirmed missions, their alias' and where they last were seen. The bastard did have the information but why sell it when there was a collective bounty on their heads enough to buy half that planet's real-estate?  
Slamming her hand on the console, she cursed in a language Poe was unfamiliar before she swiveled in her chair to face the man. “Now what?”  
“Well,” Poe began, finalizing a quick system's check before meeting her gaze, “We wait.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Word will get out about us being there and no doubt where we ended up, it's not that hard of a guess with the damage Felix and his crew did to the ship.”  
“So we wait for them to plan an attack?”  
“Hutts are just as good liars as they are remarkable in the black market business. The First Order would not be quick in sending troops off on a potential goose chase, nor do they want to waste an oppertunity either.”  
“How do you know?”  
“Finn, when he couldn't sleep, would just talk about life with the Storm Troopers.” Poe shrugged his shoulders as though it explained everything, and for Rey it did.  
“So they'll send his team after us?”  
“Possibly.”  
“How long will that take?”  
“Hopefully, not too long.”  
Turns out it was almost fourty-eight hours after docking the ship when whispered words started happening about a group of four black-leather-clad people staying at a nearby hostile.  
They had arrived.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like you can take the memories from a person but you cannot take away their character. Will everything turn out right in the end? Will Finn find his way back home and back in Poe's arms? Will love conquer all even in the midst of war?   
> Hope you're enjoying this, next chapter might take a bit since I'm stuck editing a major portion of it. In the meantime, drop me a comment. :)


	4. A Confluence.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having no grand words to say in an epic speech he long prepared but recently forgot, Poe closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it seemed like I dropped off the face of the earth, I got a last minute opportunity to do some volunteer work in a third-world country (that story is for another time) and my luggage ended up who knows where, including my laptop. Lesson learned: have more than one spot to put your stories. Essentially, I've had to start from scratch with this story.   
> Look at me babbling, let's continue where we left off eh?

When they arrived, people stopped and stared. The First Order wanted their presence to be known at this outpost, and should their recon mission prove fruitless, they were ordered to make it known what happens should they choose or even think to harbor fugitives again.  
It all made Agent sick the more he thought about it, so he ceased that line of thinking and focused his sharp gaze to his surroundings.   
“Keep to the shadows, report back at the hostile in eight hours.” Appearances at this point, were key. No one should doubt who they were nor misconstrue their intentions.   
Neither of them spoke as they separated, leaving Agent to walk down the main pathway through the town. Occasionally he would stop to check the wares but made no inquiries about the female Jedi. He had no doubt that the citizens could trust him no further than they could spit and he was okay with that. Agent was just a mere distraction while the rest of his team discreetly began collecting information.   
“What brings ye here?” One vendor shouted.  
Agent didn't spare the man a glance as he continued on. This, he belatedly realized, would just turn a paper cut into a handful of thorns in his side.  
“Oye!” The stout vendor threw his butcher knife at the red-masked Agent who dodged as he turned to face the livid man. “I was talkin' to ye, scum!”  
The market grew quiet and still as they raptly watched, waiting to see what the First Order's most prized Agent would do. Children were ushered behind their parents and the older inhabitants edged away from what could be a terrible confrontation. The air was thick with tension and no doubt as to whom signed their death warrant. Still, no one moved to quell this seething man and Agent almost pitied the poor bastard for his poor choice in companions.   
Typically, attacking an officer of the First Order was a death sentence that Agent had no qualms taking care of a few months ago. Back when he was just a killing machine with no other purpose but to further The Order and his Master's grand plan. Now, however; everything was different, or it could be.  
“You will cease your attack” His darkened voice spoke lowly.  
“Or what?” The butcher challenged, “Ye'd kill me like ye killed me wife?” He spat at the Agent's feet. “I'm not scared of ye.”  
Feeling cornered between what he ought to do and what he wanted to do, Agent hesitated. He couldn't kill him, Force help him if this should get back to Hux. Worse still, if Snoke suspects anything then they'll be good as dead, possibly worse. A light foot tread caught his attention and he felt himself minutely relax as a plan began to whir together. With it cemented, Agent immediately took action, catching his attacker off guard by slamming him against the nearest wall and holding the poor bastard there by his throat,   
“You are not worth my time.” He hissed, “Think clearly of your actions or the First Order will decimate everything you know and love while leaving you alive to watch it all burn.” All of it was an unfortunate truth, and he dearly hoped the angry man would cease his rage or he'd have no other choice but to kill him and Agent was getting so damn tired of it. The nightmares recently were getting worse and they continued to build up with the body count.  
The angry man's eyes morphed from venom to fear within seconds of his air supply being cut off and fruitlessly he scratched and pulled at Agent's firm grip trying to get some much needed oxygen to his starving lungs. The fear kept growing until his pupils were completely dilated and Agent knew that this man's eyes would haunt him years to come.   
A low hiss then a familiar hum prickled his ears as the melodic voice broke over the dull roar of his racing heart. “Let him go.”  
Doing as the voice commanded, he let the man fall and immediately the bastard began gasping like a fish and coughing through big gulps of air. Still, no one rushed to the poor man's side, instead some of the crowd began to thin upon seeing the new arrival. Neither Agent's presence nor hers were welcomed and both only promised further trouble in the near future. Agent turned his back from the quivering mess to face something far more pressing. Albeit, this was not the best scenario to talk as in-depth as he wished. Keeping his agitation to himself, he squared his shoulders and did what he does best: plan and improvise.  
“Jedi” He activated his bracers, keeping his posture loose but his calculating gaze sharp. Agent could tell that she would first try a swing from her right with how she was holding her light saber, freeing up her hand to force push him into the same wall the angry man currently slumped against. Or to push the miserable man away from the impending fight his mind supplied half a second later as he spared the surrounding area another look. The later seemed more probable. Adrenaline began pumping steadily in his veins as he waited to see what she'd do.  
“You are under arrest by decree of the Resistance.”  
No such decree existed and he let out a small exhale, fight it was then.  
Feeling a blanket of tranquility envelop him he acknowledged that this course of action was a relief. Fighting he knew how to do and never once doubted whether or not he could. No, it was the moral ground that left him in a state of unease and even being aware of her morals he was still unsure of the Jedi before him. Sure, she was a light-side Jedi and in theory, lying was never practiced, but there was a small inkling of doubt saying that she could prove the exception to the rule.  
Even thinking this, Agent felt a resounding respect for the female. He felt as though he could trust her with his life, so he was going to test that theory out. If she was good, and if his gut was correct, she will not kill him today.  
Raising his hand he made a challenging motion that clearly stated he had no intentions to make it easy on her. In the end, he knew he was going to get his butt handed to him nevertheless, he'd make her work for it.  
Might as well make it a little fun, right?   
=-=-  
Poe cursed as he ducked behind a crate, narrowly avoiding a blaster by centimeters. The Khommite was scary good with guns, but Poe knew that from the files.   
“I know who you are!” He shouts as he rolled away from the crate to send a stunner the Khommite's way. “We can help you Arlan.” There was a heavy silence, allowing Poe to wince as he gingerly pressed his ribs. The guy had a nasty kick and if his ribs weren't broken, he'd eat his own hat. His moment of contemplation cost him dearly, making him curse as the air pressure changed too quick for him to react.   
Poe saw stars as his enemy punched him in the jaw causing him to temporarily loose hearing until he hit the ground with an unmistakable crack of a broken bone.  
“You know nothing human!” The Khommite hissed but Poe saw it in his eyes. The small glimmer of doubt so Poe went for it,   
“Your wife and kids miss you.”  
The assault suddenly stopped and Poe blinked his eyes open to see the imposing male standing over him with his gun pointed at his chest. His heart rate sped up as removed eyes connected to his own and Poe couldn't stop the wince of recognition. Those soulless eyes were the same as Finn's. Never again will he see his love's eye shine in wonder or laughter. This was the end of Poe Dameron, what a joke. No explosions from a daring fight in his X-wing, no last moment exchange of eternal love; just him and this Khommite.   
Having no grand words to say in an epic speech he long prepared but recently forgot, Poe closed his eyes.  
“Pathetic.” After that, Poe felt a hard object connect to his temple and knew no more.   
-=-=-  
The outcome came as no surprise to either of them. Both of them were sporting new bruises, a few open wounds that weren't too serious, and his mask somehow staying immobile throughout the ordeal even when he ended up loosing his leather and metal reinforced jacket.   
The burn on his chest smarted more than it should, it was just a graze with no intent from the Jedi to go any deeper. Amazingly, she had pulled away when any other enemy would've severed the arm. A sign of weakness in the Order but to him it meant something profound. Had he enough time to process it, he could pinpoint why. However; all he had time for was to take stock of his injuries. For some reason the scar parallel to his spine started flaring which turned the fight in her favor towards the end. Before that, they were pretty evenly matched. Favorably, the Jedi was still prone to emotional outbursts on a very small but ill-concealed scale and the concern on her face for every blow made gave him openings in an otherwise impeccable defense, further more her actions cemented his previous line of thought:  
They knew each other. Or, at the very least, she was a very crappy Jedi where emotions were concerned and he over-estimated her skill set.   
The hum and almost unbearable heat of the light saber was just below his chin and he watched her as her bottom lip quivered just slightly,   
“Yeild.”  
By now, the entire marketplace patrons dissipated and no one was around to see the ending of such a fight. The majority of the rickety stalls were in tatters with goods spread everywhere, some of the sturdier buildings bore burn marks from the Jedi's light saber and Agent's shots chipped chunks out of buildings. It was a good thing the citizens retreated far away from the battle zone, at least it showed self-preservation and gave Agent the opportunity to communicate.  
“The First Order will know of this defeat” Came his simple reply.  
“Who cares?!”   
“We do” Came the deep timber of the Khommite. Both of them looked up to see him carrying the unconscious man with unruly hair.  
“Let him go!” Her weapon turned off but with one hand held out to Agent, she used the force to pin him to the ground.  
Silently gasping for air, Agent felt his airways significantly reduced by the invisible, heavy weight of the force on his upper torso. Fighting back a sudden panic attack, he refocused all his attention on regulating his breathing, only barely listening to the conversation.   
“I believe we both have someone we want back” Spoke the Khommite, “Perhaps we can broker a deal away from prying ears?”  
“I do not-”  
“Speak carefully Jedi” Snipe chided, “Words carry a lot of weight and so do dead bodies upon the conscience.”   
Silence fell heavily between the Jedi and Snipe. Her free hand gripped and re-gripped her light saber while Snipe kept stoic and unmoving. She glanced between Agent and the Khommite gnawing at her bottom lip before firming up her resolve.   
“My ship is docked at station five.”  
“I shall meet you there.” The Khommite turned his back on the Jedi and began running in the direction of the remote docking station. He hated being the person waited upon and Agent knew that, he also had a feeling that this Jedi didn't like people she didn't trust on her ship unsupervised for too long. You'd have to be completely stupid to trust in any member of the Harbingers.   
Feeling the tremendous weight of gravity being lifted, Agent shakily stood as she watched him with a critical eye. The sudden oxygen intake left him light headed and his burning lungs suddenly felt too large for his chest cavity, but he remained quiet in his disorientation.   
“Don't try anything.” With her light saber activated, she walked behind him, telling him where he should go.   
For a brief moment, Agent gazed above the rooftops and spied the other two team members before they disappeared within the shadows.   
They were still at an advantage and Agent smirked. If things didn't go well for Snipe and himself, then the other two would be there to leave everything else in ruin. Keeping their image intact and their selves alive another day.  
He was nothing else, if not, a strategist.   
=-=-=  
“Where are your other companions?” The Jedi kept her gaze forward as Agent lead the way directed by the end of her disengaged light saber, knowing full well that if he so much as twitched, she would skewer him. Though, he doubted she would do it.   
“I have none” Agent knew the importance of not lying around someone who is force-sensitive. Instead, he would be as vague as possible if only to confuse the female.  
“You have the Khommite.”  
“And you know where he is” Agent blithely commented.  
“And the other two you're associated with?”  
“Neither here nor there.”  
“Are they on the planet?” Her voice seemed exasperated and Agent smirked under his mask. She's quite smart to have caught on, he'd give her that, but she still has much to learn by way of keeping her emotions in check.  
“You already know that answer.”  
“Where are they on this planet then?”  
“I do not know.” He answered truthfully.  
“I can tell if you're lying.”  
“Good, then you know I'm not.”  
“You were never this frustrating Finn!”  
He stuttered in his next step, but caught himself fast enough that it would be barely noticeable from a distance. It was too bad that the Jedi was close enough to see it.  
“Do you know who you are?” Her voice was haltingly hopeful and something in his chest constricted, and for a moment he wanted to reassure her. He couldn't though, could he? A monster born from the darkest depths of the First Order, a soldier bred from equal parts spite and want for vengeance. Forever in the shadows, gazing towards a light and never to be reached by the likes of him.   
Agent kept his gaze steady as they walked down the merchant district to the docking stations. He was keenly aware of various eyes and ears trained on him. They still had five minutes to go before they got to dock five and could safely converse with minimal prying.   
“I'm Agent of the First Order, hand picked by Supreme Leader Snoke to bring down the Resistance and whomever else associated with such scum.”  
“You're-”  
“Not worth talking about Jedi” He coldly snapped, tilting his head slightly so that she may get the jist of prying onlookers. Thankfully, she did.   
“We're almost there.” She spoke as if to reassure him and he held back a derisive scoff.   
She was the one enemy standing in the way of the First Order and Kylo Ren? This female with her emotions and misplaced words?! She had tremendous focus with the force, he'd give her that but against the overwhelming might of Kylo Ren and Snoke, she stood a fair chance of being squashed like the ant she was. From his view point, there was no contest statistically.  
Still, his gut told him she'd be the savior of them all.


	5. It's a Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instincts were a huge part of who he was. What he didn't know, he felt and what he felt... never led him astray, sure, it didn't get him from point A to point B in the most straight line but he eventually got there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry about the long Hiatus. I had my story completed when my laptop was misplaced and I didn't feel like posting a chapter as I wrote it (not my cup of tea as I obsessively edit my chapters) I also found it extremely difficult trying to re-create what was lost, so I ended up taking this story in a different direction than the original. Either way, I'm back and I dearly hope you enjoy the journey I'll be taking you on.

Instincts were a huge part of who he was. What he didn't know, he felt and what he felt... never led him astray, sure, it didn't get him from point A to point B in the most straight line but he eventually got there. Yes, sometimes he would stress or doubt that he'd ever get to where he wanted to go, but through sheer force of will and bouts of incredible luck, he'd pull through.  
Slowly cracking open his eyes, he found himself in a familiar area.  
How'd he get on the Millennium Falcon? Poe attempted to move but grimaced as steel wire bit into his wrists and ankles. Well, he mused, he didn't get here on his own two feet.  
“Do not move human”.  
“Kinda hard not to, we humans do value blood circulation.” To spite his captor he moved some more even though he knew it would do more harm than good, but Poe Dameron always had a hard time listening to authority especially when it was someone he held no respect nor loyalty towards.  
The Khommite was just out of his vision and Poe tried to adjust his vantage point so that he had the green skinned bastard on his twelve. Aware that his flopping was less than graceful, he slowly slid around to see the Khommite flash him an irritated look before fixating his gaze towards the open hatch of the cargo bay.  
So he was waiting for someone, possibly Rey, Poe silently thought. However, T'mon did not have any guns visibly out from his oversize hooded duster. Just what was this guy playing at? What was his angle?  
“So, buddy, what are we waiting for?” He waited a few minutes, watching to see even a flash of acknowledgement towards his words, “Rey will kick your ass you know, if you plan on jumping her.” He casually stated.  
Nothing. The guy was giving him nothing.  
Poe settled for watching T'mon and taking in his hardened features. He was a lot different than in the pictures supplied by Leia. The T'mon in the pictures held himself less rigidly and had a small smile as he was surrounded by his wife and offspring. He didn't wear the oppressive black of the First Order, he didn't have eyes that seemed both light years away yet always watching, waiting for danger. This man before him was a killer and nothing of the family man he was before and Poe felt a pang of sympathy.  
He, just like Finn, was taken away from all that was good and turned into something so horrendously wrong that even if they were to get their memories back, it would be a long road towards recovery. What the First Order did was horrendous and kriff he hoped to any and all deities out there that he'll meet Hux or Snoke or Kylo and punch the living hell out of them. No one deserved that kind of misery.  
“Stop looking at me with pity.” The Khommite grumbled.  
“I'm sorry.” Poe's words were heavy with feeling, “I'm so fucking sorry, man.”  
Poe hated being emotional, especially when on missions but the more time he laid there, meant he had more time to think over the four Harbingers. What would it accomplish if they got their memories back? Really? T'mon's family was massacred in cold blood, the only living being was his baby girl, whom he'll never get to see again because his wife's distant cousin demanded absolute seclusion away from the war and any mention of the First Order.  
Then there was Rurok. Yes, he sequestered himself away from even his own people, but he never could quite commit to a true hermit lifestyle. His village that he lived on the outskirts of, was razed to the ground. Evidence showed that Rurok fought hard against his enemy, but in the end he was bested by a person with astounding light saber skills and Poe had no doubt that the person Rurok fought was Kylo Ren.  
He wasn't the only one with no home to go to. Terran, lost her entire planet, her culture, her everything.  
Really, was it just selfish for the Resistance to give them back their pasts, only for them to remember that which no longer remains? To what end do even the good guys stop and think that righting wrongs may be just as bad as committing the wrong itself?  
Finn.  
Gods! Then there was Finn! He'd been through too much, but to see him devastated by the realization that he killed countless hundred Resistance men and women, his new, chosen family...that... that was a new kind of hell that Poe knows Finn might never recover from. Why the hell did he get the crappiest end of the stick? What did Finn do to deserve any of this??! Kriff!  
Why them? Why Finn? He was a good, caring man who was finally, _finally!_ Finding out who he was and his place in the universe. Finn was amazing and genuine and...Poe's heart clenched so hard, he shut his eyes. That amazing man was loved, so deeply and profoundly and Poe knew, he _believed_ , that when Finn comes out of this, he'll never think that love was or ever will be real.  
Fates were not kind nor were they fair, and doesn't that just leave a bitter taste in his mouth?  
“Life isn't fair” He whispered.  
“If it was, there would be no more wants nor war” The Khommite responded completely uncaring of Poe's inner torment. “No one would appreciate anything.”  
“That would be preferable” Poe lightly argued, “Than to see good people get screwed over.”  
“Then you would not appreciate the good in a person, nor would you feel as deeply about what is becoming of their life.” T'mon's sharp gaze focused on Poe, “The more you push your head above the mediocre crowd, the more you get hit with rotten food.”  
“Then what's the point of doing that?”  
“The view.”

* * *

  
When they arrived, Agent was struck to his spot and couldn't move. The man, tied up at Snipe's feet, was altogether comfortingly familiar and a stranger. His heart caught in his throat as the man rasped a name that left his palms sweating.  
Finn?  
There's that name again, Agent grimaced. A name that evoked so much but spoke nothing to his mind. Desperately, for a brief moment, he shuffled through his mind, looking for anything he could grasp on to validate this overwhelming amount of emotions.  
Nothing.  
Nothing frustrated him more than not knowing something he felt that he should know. There's so much in the world he never knew, or would ever know...  
“Sir.”  
Snapping his gaze away from the man with unkempt hair, he looked at Snipe. This was his call, and Agent would back him up should the need arise. Easily, he pushed the feelings away and slipped into the cool aloofness of a tactician. This was who he was, at the very least, this was all he knew and for the moment, it was good enough.  
“We want information.”  
“In exchange for Poe?” Rey asked.  
“No” T'mon paused, “We would like to know who we are. You are a Jedi of the light, we trust that you would help us remember.” Bending down, he pulled out a nasty blade that made Rey step forward but Agent put his hand up, halting her from further progress. With deft skills, he cut through the wires within seconds and stood away from the man on the floor who was vigorously rubbing his red-lined wrists.  
“I don't understand” The man stood.  
“We wanted away from gossip mongers.” Agent, following the Khommite's peace offering, took off his mask. A sharp intake of breath had Agent gazing at the man who stepped closer towards him.  
“Kriff, it really is you.” He whispered. His hand shook as he reached towards Agent face.  
Torn between wanting to break the man's wrist and staying still in fear that, should he move, they will not help him, Agent flinched his face away while keeping his ground.He was acutely aware of the heat between the space of the man's hand and his cheek.  
A soft curse came from the man's chapped lips as he pulled his hand away as though it were burned.  
“Sorry” he gasped. It was a wretched sound to Agent's ears, so full of loathing and remorse. It didn't fit this sad man before him.  
“Our memories?”  
Trust Snipe to keep on topic, bless his damned soul.  
“Is that all you want?” Rey asked.  
“Are you sure?” Poe kept his gaze on Agent, “You might not like it, if we can.”  
“If we are more than what we've been told, if we are right in thinking that there is more to us." Agent paused, making sure he made eye contact with the two Resistance warriors. "Then we can put to ease, our troubled minds.” Everyone looked at Agent as he looked at Rey, “We don't want to be told who we were or are, we want to remember .”  
“I-I don't think I can-”  
“Coward.” The Khommite spoke, “You are young, but many light years away from being great if you think so poorly about yourself.”  
“I don't make promises of things I cannot do.” She tilted her chin up and glared, ready to further defend herself to the abrasive male.  
An explosion rocked the Millennium Falcon and Snipe pulled out two guns, one each trained Poe and Rey.  
“Time's up” Agent pulled out his own gun while stepping away from Rey and the area her light saber could reach.  
“You tricked us!” Poe glared at the Khommite.  
“No.” T'mon stated as Agent dropped two disks while they both retreated. “Also,” He looked at Rey, “If you are willing to look, you can find a way.”  
“Don't go Finn!” The man, Poe, implored, “Please! I love you! I love you so damn much, please, don't go!”  
Those words...Agent felt so much from them but he didn't know what to do with them. Who was he to this man? Lovers? Ex-lovers? Siblings? It was all too confusing and now was not the time to allow these questions to bog him down.  
“Words mean as much as the memories behind him.” Were the Agent's parting words as he and Snipe left out of the hatch and disappeared in the smoky chaos.  
Poe's gasping, stilted sobs were swallowed by the dull thud of the Millennium Falcon's cargo hatch closing. He was so close, but never felt so far apart from the man he loved more than anything in this forsaken galaxy. Rubbing his chest as though it would soothe his heartache, Poe took a series of deep calming breaths to stave off further hitching sobs.  
“I can't Rey.” He murmured, “I can't let those bastards get away with this!”  
“We must return to Master Luke.” Rey stooped to pick up the two disks. “We will help them.”  
“I want to murder the Order”  
“Get in line.” Rey put a calming hand on his shoulder and tried to smile but it fell flat. In her eyes was the weight of the galaxy. Looking, at just her, gave Poe the sense that he was looking at an old woman; one who experienced enough out of life and knew more than you ever could. Yet, here she was, young and carrying so many burdens yet still hopeful and in equal parts, naiive.  
“They know something is missing, which means they have a chance.”  
Smiling softly, Poe ruffled her hair, “You're right shortie. Now how about we get outta here before we get into any more trouble?” He passed her and without looking back, he shouted, “You should hunt down where T'mon locked up Chewie and BB-8, I'll worry about flying this old gal.”  
His facade didn't fool her. Rey knew that Poe needed time to himself and didn't argue with him like she normally would. Instead, she turned and began hunting down their stray companions. If she were honest with herself, she would admit that she too needed some space to process and think about the next step. Glancing down at the disks in her hand, she lightly clenched them.  
Things rarely went the way she wanted them to go, but she knew as well as she was attuned to the force, that everything will work out.  
It just will.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, once again, for being patient with me. I don't deserve you guys as my readers but I'm forever thankful.


	6. To Strive, Seek, Find and Not to Yield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'   
> We are not now that strength which in old days   
> Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;   
> One equal temper of heroic hearts,   
> Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will   
> To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.  
> Alfred Lord Tennyson: Ulysses

The Storm Troopers became a heavy, oppressive presence on that moon. Many citizens were taken for questioning or put down if they so much as sneezed wrong, and Agent felt an immense amount of self hatred as this team took off per their orders. He hated himself so much for leaving those people to the iron-fisted Order, but most of all; he hated himself for not saying something, anything back to that man named Poe. His gut lurched as he replayed that scene over and over again, the man's look of utter loss and equal turns...love.

It boggled his mind, this love. Was it so lowly regarded that saying you loved someone was just as casual yet desperate as asking for a drink of water after a prolonged journey in a desert? More importantly, why did he have the urge to say it back to the man? If they knew each other before, then surely he would've remembered despite everything? A flash of something other than these damned feelings?! Why the hell do the others get a flash of something from their past and yet he, _he_ had nothing!

Gritting his teeth, he caught the hand before it made contact with his shoulder,

“What?”

“Supreme Leader Snoke wishes to speak with you in your quarters.” Monk solemly watched as their leader's posture further stiffened.

Already..?

Millions of thoughts plagued his mind at once: could Snoke know that there's something more going on? Will he be able to find out over a vid conference? Why now?

Agent stood and caught everyone's eyes before leaving, a silent conversation that spoke heavily of how far they've come truly as a team rather than a group of individuals. If anything were to go wrong, or they suspected anything, they were to silence him by any means possible.He hoped that it wouldn't be the case. However; dealing with Snoke was a monstrous beast still vastly unknown to them despite working so close to the leader of the First Order. Snoke could very well take possession of any of them and render all of their planning mute. Now, more than ever, did Agent become acutely aware of the fine line they were treading and how close they were to loosing it all. In a matter of seconds, Agent could become the team's undertaker with the right manipulation of the force by that long-fingered bastard.

Going down the small hall between the flight cabin and his utilitarian room, his hands began to sweat. Snoke, if he were honest, scared him like no other person ever did. The man in question had unbelievable amount of power but that never made Agent quite so nervous as knowing how cunning the man was. He orchestrated several slaughters with Agent and his team of Harbingers as the scythe. Not to mention the man was always steps far ahead of anyone. Snoke toyed with his enemies before putting them down slowly and painfully and that was never Agent's cup of tea. He preferred the fast and painless route, something he now realized set him apart from other high ranking people in the First Order.

Mechanically, he punched in his ten digit code and stood a moment longer before entering his room where his lone pad laid on his bed. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Agent centered himself and mastered his tumultuous emotions behind a mask of indifference. Sitting on his cot, he picked up the device and turned it on.

The long, emotionless face of Supreme Leader Snoke encompassed the entire screen.

“Sir.”

“Ah, yes, Agent.” He spoke as though it were Agent whom initiated the call and he was the one being bothered, “I heard about your recent conquest. Tell me, how did you manage to escape from that Jedi?”

“It is in the report Sir.”

“Humor me” His voice took on a keener edge and Agent knew there was something deeper Snoke was looking for. Perhaps a slip up or a hint that Agent and his crew were not how he left them?

Deciding to tread lightly he spoke, “The female Jedi was compromised by her emotions.”

“Apparently not enough if she was able to capture you.”

“Her mistake was not killing me sir. She took me to her ship where she was to negotiate a trade, me for her pilot. Snipe and I waited for an opportune moment of weakness and took it when it happened, Sir. We escaped with their previous route records that could prove useful in finding and destroying the Resistance's main base.”

“She did not try stopping you?”

“She did sir, but as I stated before, she was unwilling to kill me and I took advantage of it.”

“Do you know why?”

“I do not care.”

“That is not what I asked.” Snoke's eyes narrowed and Agent wanted to curse.

“She was spouting nonsense about me being better than the First Order and she couldn't believe I was doing what I was.”

Snoke made a noncommittal noise and soon the two of them fell into silence. Agent wanted to fidget or give into the urge to further elaborate but he held back. If Snoke wanted more information he would ask.

“Did she seem familiar to you?”

“No, Sir.”

“Interesting, and her pilot companion?”

“He was not a threat, therefore I paid no attention to him.”

Once again, a long period of silence befell the two men. Snoke was watching him with his eery gaze while Agent remained impassive. He could play the waiting game just as well as Snoke, even when he thought Snoke was a revolutionary hero, he never once initiated conversation and like the good dog he was, he waited for his master's lead.

“It's been a while, Agent, has it not? A video conference is by no means a worthwhile form of communication. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer face-to-face.” Snoke eased back from the screen, looking a lot less intimidating. Agent knew better. Snoke suspected something and the only way to figure it out was to be close enough to read a person's mind.

Dread pooled low in his gut, Agent was fucked.

“Please take yourself and crew to the coordinates I sent you. I expect your arrival within the week.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good boy.” With that, Snoke cancelled the video call and Agent cursed aloud before rubbing his forehead. They had a lot to prepare for in just a week and Agent wasn't confident that they could pull the wool over Snoke's eyes. They had to try though, or else everything they worked for would've been for naught.

“Royce” He barked once he turned on the comms.

“Yes, sir?”

“I need to you make a few more changes to the coordinates on the disk.”

“Mind sharing with the team?” She querired.

“No. It's just for you and I.” And the Jedi was his silent addition. If all else failed, she could be the one to pull that trigger and end everything or at the very least, cripple the First Order beyond any hope or repair.

Agent knew that he was putting far too much trust in her, especially since he still couldn't remember anything useful about their relationship. Hell, this thing could be an elaborate, orchestrated cluster-fuck meant to disable the First Order's best men and make the Harbringers do the rest of the damage. Oddly though, Agent didn't care. He was past being a weapon, he was done constantly thinking up strategies and trying to be multiple steps ahead of his opponents. More importantly he was done feeling so fucking dead.

He wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry, he wanted to be himself even though he doesn't know who he really is. Hell, he wanted to be able to say I love you to a complete stranger and mean it without wondering about their end-game. Without judgement.

He wanted so much to be human, even if just for a moment.

 

* * *

 

“Bullshit” Spat Joosten as he faced off General Organa, “We're too damned old to be playing this game, I say take the bastard out and string him by his balls!”

Leia's frustration at the crass man was not hidden as she glared at the obstinate friend of her deceased lover. “We may be old but that doesn't mean we shouldn't take in the younger generation and their examples.”

“They know nothing! Still hopeful-”

“Yes and that is what we need.” Leia interrupted, “Which brings us back to the matter at hand-”

“Sheesh” Joosten flopped onto a chair, pinching the bridge of his crooked nose. “You're serious.”

“Yes.”

“All right, I'll get what I can on that sonofabitch, but I still think this young Jedi is not someone who should be making the calls.”

“Good thing then, Joosten, that I am.” The look he gave her was equal parts scathing and bemusement but Leia didn't care enough about his opinion to further think what every quirk of his facial features meant. All she wanted was his particular skill set and nothing more.

“I'm too damned old for this.”

“We all are.”

With a wave towards the exit, Leia dismissed the man who stood and gave her a mock salute that she didn't appreciate. Still, she did not rise to his bait and waited until the door slid shut before she gracefully took her own seat.

A sudden, suffocating wave of fatigue fell heavily upon her and she closed her eyes. She felt as though she lived a millennia in just a year and each day was progressively getting harder and harder for her to get out of bed. She could feel it in her bones that once this war was over, so would she. Until then, she would get out of bed, more battered and dulled than the previous day but no less useful. The General had a job to see through to the end and she was stubborn enough to see it end her way, even if it meant that her baby boy may die.

Still, like the younger generation, she clung to hope and the idea that once everything was said and done, everything will be as it was before or at the very least, a loved one would've survived along with you to make continuing on a bit easier. Still, demons were strongest in times of quiet and Leia didn't think she could fight them off if she were to come out of it alone.

“Let's hope you're right Rey.” She murmured. Her gaze took on a sadden, far-away tinge as she looked at a small hologram of the Hosnian system prior to its destruction. For the sake of countless lives, she must hope.

 

* * *

 

Agent left the hangar with his team, one on each side and another behind him. It was their typical formation they fell into at the beginning and never once did they deviate from it. Especially now. Any deviation from the norm, no matter how small, could be costly. For all intents and purposes, they were in enemy territory and thus warranted the highest alertness they could afford without giving it away.

Storm Troopers parted as they walked, some greeting them, others adverting their gazes elsewhere. They were the most feared group in the galaxy, their success and kill records supported the fear and Agent clenched his jaw for a moment before realizing what he was doing and once again affecting a complete air of indifference to everyone around him. His group was following his lead up to the entrance of the chamber that Supreme Leader Snoke resided.

Two gaurds were posted outisde with Kylo Ren.

“Sir.”

“Agent.” Kylo cooly looked over the group, “The Harbingers are to come with me, except you. Snoke wishes to speak to you privately.” With a snap of his cloak, Kylo took off down the hall, the trio following behind without a backwards glance.

Divide and conquer. Agent rancrously thought.

Supreme Leader Snoke was indeed suspicious and it all boiled down to Agent surpassing every verbal pitfall set up for him. This was the biggest mashed up game of chicken and chess he'd ever play and he was determined to win.

The two guards parted as the doors slid open with little more than a hiss. Agent stepped into the darkened room, steeling himself for possibly the biggest battle of his life.

The entirety of this war was hinging on this one moment and Agent didn't want to dwell on the sea of self-doubt and bubbling anxiety. He would do well he chanted above the roaring waves, he would not let anymore people down, he would not allow one more innocent death stain his hands. He was a Harbinger, he was something more than this... And as he came closer to the one being in the universe he feared most, he chanted:

I can do this!

With a confidence, he locked eyes with Supreme Leader Snoke.

Let the end begin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter, another day. I hope you guys enjoyed it, and as always, I'm forever thankful.


	7. What We're Made Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The darkest day. The blackest hour. Chin up, shoulders back. Let's see what you're made of, you and I.” Doctor Who

Agent was oddly in his element, facing down a monster while mainting an outer calm he didn't feel by any means. Adrenaline was thrumming through his veins as he answered questions thrown at him while keeping surface thoughts available for Snoke to sift through. He clogged them with menial ideas, tatical plots and supported it with a heavy layer of trust and respect towards Snoke. A feat that was incredibly hard to do considering he no longer felt either towards the male. He hoped that, with those thoughts kept at the forefront, they wouldn't garner a closer, deeper look by Snoke. Agent knew that if Snoke suspected all was not as he portrayed then he would cut down his deeper mental barriers like a warm knife through butter and all would be lost.

Juggling these thoughts and emotions with an attentiveness towards Supreme Leader Snoke became taxing but Agent persisted through sheer stubborness. Thankfully, after a full two hours spent in his presence, they were interrupted by the unannounced entrance of Kylo Ren. Agent didn't miss the subtle shake of his head and held back the urge to smirk. Kylo Ren wasn't sucessful in detecting any subterfuge or deviation of loyalties from the other Harbingers. Feeling a sense of pride for his comrades, he easily threw those thoughts aside and just stood in the new silence of the room. His dark eyes were affixed on Snoke, waiting for further instructions from the leader who kept his gaze on his apprentice for a few seconds more.

“Agent, you're dismissed. Report to your team and await further orders.”

“As you command sir.” Bowing towards Snoke and then Kylo Ren, he backed towards the door barely catching the hushed wisper from Kylo,

“All is as it should be.”

And now the process begins.

* * *

 

It was snowing.

Poe looked up at the grey sky with a wistful expression. It has been a year since Finn was taken and brainwashed. Letting out a breath he watched the cloud form and disperse thinking about how Finn would've reacted to this.Surely he's seen snow, but to expirience it with unfettered joy, would've been a sight to see. Poe could just imagine the trouble they would get into. Snow fights, snow angels and maybe catching snowflakes with just their tongues?

He could think of other things he could teach Finn that involved that particular muscle.

A shrill series of beeps knocked him out of his thoughts. Smiling, he looked down at BB-8. The little droid was playing mama-bear ever since the incident on the moon a week back. Seeing Finn again had such a profound impact that left the pilot reeling for days. Knowing that he couldn't stop Finn from returning and that the man he deeply loved couldn't remember him left him feeling all together listless and angry.

“I'm fine BB.” Being out here, taking in the quiet snowfall on a cliff overlooking a deep valley with a small, frozen lake at the bottom, left him feeling oddly at peace. He didn't dwell on the constant churning thoughts of Finn and if he was okay because, truth be told, he trusted that man and knew what he was capable of. That, and seeing Finn healthy and relatively okay, put to ease some demons.

Another whirring noise of beeps disturbed the silence and Poe only listened with half an ear. BB missed Finn too, despite protests to the contrary.

“I think it will, buddy.” He replied with a confidence he felt deep in his bones. “He may not remember us but he's too smart to dismiss facts and feelings. Finn fought off the First Order's influence once before afterall.”

Another set of short and long beeps and Poe chuckled as he plopped down unto the snow covered ground. Arms stretched behind him, supporting him as he looked to his right at the droid. His circular friend gave more agitated beeps and Poe's chuckles turned into several deep-chested laughs.

BB-8 hated the cold and was irked that Poe was out here, away from Luke's camp without a coat. Just think what friend-Finn would say. And Poe knew exactly how Finn would react but he didn't want to make the little droid angry at him further, so he just shrugged his shoulders and once again focused on the quiet valley.

“I think” Poe quietly murmured, “That Finn was always meant to be a good person, you know? No amount of brain washing could ever completely erase someone's character right?” As those words spewed from his mouth, Poe felt silly. To his own ears he didn't make much sense  but being here with BB-8 left him feeling introspective.

“I mean, you can tell someones brain what to do, but what intrincically makes a person who they are will eventually-”

“Hey.”

Looking up, he watched as Rey made her way towards them and Poe found himself dissapointed that his moment of  solitude came to an end so soon.

“Hey.”

Without asking, Rey sat next to BB-8 and patted the droid. “It's beautiful here.”

“Finn would've loved it.”

She smiled, “Yeah, I can see it.”

The two fell into a companionable silence for another hour before Rey started shivering.

“We should head back. The first raid is going to happen tomorrow and we still have a lot of preparations to make.”

The two stood up, brushing away the snow from their pants and off their gloveless hands. Together, they began a sedentry pace back towards camp.

“And the base?”

“Coming along,” Rey frowned, “It surprises me how Master Luke and Joosten are getting along.”

“Yeah, I didn't think Joosten was capable of being less than a dick.”

“He still is unpleasant.”

“Without a doubt” Poe easily agreed with BB-8's support. “At least he's our dick, could you imagine him as your enemy?”

“Daily” Came Rey's dry retort, a small smile gracing her features and Poe smiled. Between them, a weight was lifted that day they interacted with Finn. Yes, they were not able to bring him home but they saw that the Finn they knew was still whole and fighting to get back and that made them hopeful. After the dust settled, they knew that recovery may be a long road but they cared for and loved Finn in their own way , so much that they would do whatever they could to help him.

“He loves you too” Rey spoke.

Poe suddenly stopped, ignoring BB-8's indignant beeps. “That came from nowhere.”

“It's been on my mind for a bit and I wasn't sure how to say it.” Rey's face turned serious, “He told me as much before the mission that took him away from us. I promised not to say anything to you, but I wanted you to know that what you have, it isn't one-sided.”

“Then why doesn't he remember?” Came Poe's bitter reply before he could hold it in and he grimaced. Now was a horrible time to dwell on the negative part of that day.

“Master Luke says that the Dark Side is powerful enough, that with the right person, they could keep memories so deeply locked that they could never surface as long as the weilder is alive.”

“So Snoke must die?”

“That's a big possibility.” Rey tucked a strand of hair behind her ears before continuing, “I'm just as saddened that he didn't recognize me as you are, Poe. Just because he  didn't remember  doesn't mean he never cared as deeply for us as we do him.”  She sighed and gently closed her eyes, “Snoke is just extremely powerful and no matter how hard Finn fought, it was a loosing battle.”

“How sure are you that it wasn't Kylo Ren who did this?”

“As sure as the sun setting. Kylo Ren, though powerful, lacks the finesse to keep a leash on one person's memories much less four stubborn individuals who had powerful reasons to despise the First Order. I know storm troopers go through re-conditioning but add the dark side's influence to the mixture...”

“Yeah I get it” Poe didn't want the image of Finn suffering in the same chair he was subjected to. His gut churned, forcing him to take a deep, steadying breath and shakily exhale.

“The fact that everyone should dwell on is Finn's strength and despite it all, he's fighting it and winning.” Interrupted Luke who came out of nowhere, “Now, enough of this, we have other matters to tend to.”

* * *

 

Joosten glared as the soldiers under his command scurried away to finish setting up the base,

“Damn lazy ingrates” He spat a chunk of black tar before yelling more discernably, “Do it right this time or I'll cut off yer thumbs and nail them to yer forheads!”

“Violent words.” Luke appeared at his side with the pilot and the emotional little girl that almost got them all killed.

Sneering, Joosten returned his attention to the men weilding together the outer walls of a formidable fortress. He and Luke went back, not as far as he and Han but enough to create respect. There were a few hairy situations Luke and he got into back when Joosten was still in the lucrative export business. Second best pilot in the galaxy and cocky as all hell, Joosten provided the transport for Luke to take down pocket factions still loyal to the dark side.

Then the bastard decided to train children and Joosten went on his merry way doing various odd jobs and establishing his own underground trade empire to make a Hutt jealous.

Now here he was, knee deep in a war he wanted no part of.

Damn you Han, going off and dying for your delusional son of a bitch progeny before he could repay him.

Yeah, he said progeny, just because he couldn't eloquate well didn't mean he was stupid.

“Would be easier if we contracted out” Joosten grimaced as he watched three men weld edges together, “You know, with people who actually knew the ass end of a horse.”

“You heard what-”

“Yeah, 'm not deaf.” Joosten deflated a little but still carried a hard edge to his voice. “This better work.”

“It will.”

Joosten's narrowed gaze zeroed on the girl, “I don't need reassurances from a girl who barely hit her period.”

“Hey!”

“Shut up commander, I'm here to repay a debt. I don't need yer self-righteous bullshit or her whiny voice.” Spitting out more tar, Joosten gave a nod to Luke before walking towards the nearly completed base, cursing under his breath.

“That bastard.”

“Language” Luke lightly corrected.

“That's not fair Master!”

“Joosten is his own person and acts according to his awareness of others' awareness of him.” Luke ushered them towards camp where several tents made from animal hide were grouped together. Before parting from the duo as they made it to the center of camp, Luke nodded in the direction of Joosten, “Observe rather than judge and you'll see that what is often portrayed could be in-congruent with what actually is.”

Turning, he walked off without speaking. He had a lot to do in such a short time and he must confer with his favorite droid to finalize a few plans buzzing around in his head.

 

* * *

Snoke's long fingers moved away from the screen. The information provided by the Harbinger's only solidified his plans, those weak-minded fools he thought. Hux was already orchestrating troop movements and Snoke was nearly, dare he say it, happy that the Resistance will meet its end soon. 

The order was given, Storm Troopers were to be led by Kylo Ren to raid the Resistance base that housed Luke Skywalker and his apprentice Rey.

They wouldn't know what hit them.

A bone-chilling laugh echoed his chambers. 

All would bow before him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's so much build up for the final show-down. Pieces are moving into position and soon enough everything will be put to the test. Will Poe ever get Finn back or is Finn just too broken?


	8. The End is Just Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added some more to Leia's part. I'm always in a state on constant editing. Yes, it's not the next chapter, but I figured I'd polish some stuff up before I polished up chapter nine.

There was nothing in sight  
But memories left abandoned  
There was nowhere to hide  
The ashes fell like snow  
And the ground caved in  
Between where we were standing

And your voice was all I heard  
That I get what I deserve

R.I.P

* * *

  
  


The information provided by Finn became the fulcrum for which events have gone into motion. Leia smiled in fondness of that boy as she purused the final orders for which she'll be giving to her gathered men and women. Today will be monumental and she had every faith that most events will fall into her favor.

“Are you sure?” Came the skeptial words of Commander Cusic, “It could all be a trap.” He voiced for the hundreth time but Leia let it go. He was doing his job and in the end, he will do as he was told to do.

An admirable man that, at one point, she could've fallen for years ago had her heart not been so soundly stolen by the surly Han Solo. He, unlike Han, didn't have a fear of long-term commitment. But he, unlike Han, didn't have that arrogant recklessness that kept her so soundly interested.

She eyed him for a longer moment and appreciated how he didn't shuffle in nervousness. He was a man of composure bred by war that left him so unshakable, Leia doubted even confronting Smoke personally would do more than make him blink twice.

Looking down, she inserted a chip to the data base, “I trust in him.”

“At one point, so did I.” The grimness in his tone reminded Leia of the day he lost his plontoon of soldiers to the Agent and when it was revealed that this Agent was Finn. He took the blow silently but with no less pain of a man with a severed leg. Finn was, afterall; part of his group of ground soldiers. Finn and Cusic had an immediate bond like that of father and son. Cusic had challenged Finn to constantly think of new strategies and often times, Leia would spot them playing chess and talking about anything be it Resistance related or not.

Out of anyone, Cusic took Finn's betrayal the hardest and for a long while he was angry at Finn. Some could argue he still was.

Leia turned her gaze away from the flight plan submitted by Admiral Ackbar and kept Cusic's gaze. She could understand the pain of betrayal and the want for revenge, but just because you can, doesn't mean you should. They both knew that from expirience.

“What, then, do you want me to do?” She evenly asked, “Kill him if he survives this? He's already shown some improvement but there's no garuntee he'll be marginally the same as when he was your soldier Cusic.” He may still have First Order tendencies went unsaid between the two of them. Despite what he and his team of Harbingers have orchestrated, Leia was still uneasy that Finn would not come back from this. That he may be damaged beyond what recources could give.

What a hippocrite she was.

“I'd rather he die than survive alongside the First Order. If this turns on us, he'll be within my sights and I'll put him down like a wounded animal.” Cusic admitted freely as he pulled out a disk and layed it on her desk, “My troops will be ready to move on your mark” He nodded towards the disk “After your approval, General.” Bowing, he didn't say goodbye as he was in the habit of doing. Turning, he walked out the door that silently slid shut once he stepped out.

Pressing a button, Leia waited for a reply from her long time friend, “Admiral Ackbar, your flight plan has been approved, meet Joosten at the coordinates I have sent you. He'll wait on your mark.”

“And you General?”

“I'll wait on Finn's cue.” Her eyes strayed to her monitor where a video feed was set up on a main First Order base not far from them. The live feed was courtesy of the lone female Harbinger who tapped into the First Order's system and re-route it to her personal screen. A timer was on the bottom and flashed in neon blue: 4hrs 21minutes and counting before all hell would break loose.

Harbingers indeed.

* * *

 

It wasn't snow Agent noted distantly. The explosions were at such a high temperature that it turned everything to ash including the unfortunate bastards within the vast underground base. Grimacing at the laceration across his abdomen he looked behind to see his tired and bloody crew.

“I think” Monk spat a globule of blood, “The First Order got our notice.”

For a second everyone stood stiff before bursting out into relieved laughter so soul-deep they could feel a weight dissappearing from their collective shoulders. They didn't address the bigger elephant in the room, there was no need because for one moment in their miserable lives, they did something for themselves and it was freeing, so much one could go as far as saying it was euphoric. This _is_ what freedom felt like and never again will they submit to Snoke's control.

The Harbingers were biting the hand that put them together, in more ways than this huge base take down. As they stood being snowed on by ash and heated by twisted, molten metal beams, they knew their singular jobs were coming to a head. Royce was dismanteling their security infrastructure with a complex virus that would not only cripple their shields but the First Order's entire communications system and even misleading their ships to a trap where Admiral Ackbar and Joosten waited with their respective crew.

Joosten was a surprise to Agent's plans, but the man ended up getting flight patterns and crew manifestos and knew whom to target first based off performance records. How he acquired those documents, Agent never asked. He had a feeling that Joosten wouldn't be forthcoming anyways.

Focusing his attention to his crew, he noted how exhausted his two male members were. Monk and Snipe systematically killed higher ranking officers while leading the charge against three bases in one solar day. They also fought along Commander Cusic's squad of elite soldiers before they met Agent here over two hours ago. Agent was forbidden from coming along, so he focused his efforts elsewhere.

He became the liason who coordinated the various traps alongside General Leia so that the Resistance could lure their enemies to a false base where Joosten set up a labrynth fit to slaughter and coordinated certain mercenaries to take down smaller scouting ships the First Order employed. The man was a crude individual but brilliant in his efficiency. Between Joosten, General Leia and Rey, that trap was an enormous dent to their ground troops.

Now, though was the true test of courage.

The high pitched whirr of a jet beginning its descent echoed the desecrated area and the four stopped their companionable laughter.

With unhurried grace, the beast of an x-wing stopped on the ground and hummed as the cockpit opened.

A man in a bright orange jumpsuit took off his helmet. Dark hair waved in the breeze and he gracefully dismantled his X-wing. It was the same man who confessed his love to Agent a month ago. Feeling his breath coming out heavier, Agent checked his wound and concluded such an odd feeling could not have come from an injury that's more superficial than it is life-threatening.

“Finn, buddy.” His smile was wide, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he stood ten meters away from the group. “It's time to finish it.”

“Wait” Snipe agnrily turned towards their leader, “We were supposed to finish that son of a bitch together!”

“There's no way we could all confornt him, not with the power he holds over all of us.” Monk filled it with solemnity, “So what are we to do?”

“Hux is holed up on a small base just on the edge of this system” Agent threw a disc at Royce who caught it, “He needs to be brought in or down. I didn't have time to plan for him but I have faith that you three could do something.”

“By the time we get there, he'll be gone!” Royce uploaded the coordinates to her hand-held and cursed. “It'll take us days to get there!”

“Much less steal a ship” Snipe pointed out.

“And they'll be prepared” Monk supplied, looking over his shorter companion's shoulder.

“Not if you had help.” Agent nodded at the distance and the three of them turned to see the Melenium Falcon land.

“Oh stars” Monk whispered.

“The female Jedi, Rey, is elsewhere but your pilot is just as good.”

“A fucking Jedi!” Royce whispered half in awe and suscpicion as Luke Skywalker walked out from the open hatch with a Wookie at his side.

“That's where you're wrong.” Agent beconed them to follow him as they drew nearer to Poe. “Guys, this will be your pilot on the Melenium Falcon.”

“Hey” He held his hand up in a short wave and a cocky smirk, “Poe Dameron, best pilot in the galaxy.”

“How do we know we can trust you?” Royce sneered, “You tried killing us months back.”

“Because I love Finn and I would never do anything to hurt him or his friends.”

“We don't have time to dawdle” Luke finally appeared, grabbing Poe's helmet and looking at Agent, “Are you ready?”

“Yes, sir.”

Luke turned to see the rest of the group and gave them each a nod, “May the Force be with you.”

“Don't die Agent.” Snipe pulled Agent into a hug, slipping his favorite hunting knife into Agent's pocket.

“Yes, and don't forget you know what you are, but not what you may be. Fight hard enough so tomorrow will know that you are a hero. ” Monk bowed, never one for physical contact. His words hung heavy between the Harbingers for a short moment before it was broken,

“And if we you don't come back tp us, we'll kill you ourselves” Royce sniffed, fighting back tears, “And you too Jedi. You let him die, I will personally ruin you.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” Luke replied evenly. His face lined with years of unfathomable burdens quirked in a small, reassuring smile before settling his eyes on the dark-skinned man, “Come now, Finn.”

Agent took one long look at his friends and fought back the strong urge to say something sentimental. Instead, he took off his porcelain mask and gave it one final, lingering look. This mask was a symbol of who he had become under the vile ministrations of Snoke. A monster lay beneath the mask and Agent knew that upon discarding it, any visible reminders of the demon he was would dissapear, except to himself. Those burdens were his to forever bare, be it if he ever regained his memories or not. Those people he killed under Snoke's banner in the name of a false idealism that he once was made to believe in, will always weigh heavily on his soul from this day until his dying breath. The mask was easy to hide behind and strike fear in people, but the man no longer hid behind it.

Not now, not ever again.

Tossing the mask into the burning coals of some indiscernable remains, he watched for a moment as fire began to lick through the eye holes and around the edge in a bastardized version of a lover's caress. Within seconds the mask cracked in half with a pop and hiss as the paint bubbled and rolled down, building the fire around it until Agent lost interest and turned his gaze to the elder Jedi. With a nod, Agent grabbed the extra helmet the Jedi offered with an outstretched arm.

“Be safe” He settled on saying, making final eye contact with everyone including Poe. For Poe, he kept his gaze steady, “I hope I am the person you say I am.”

“No use in hoping buddy, when you already are and more. Now, go and get the biggest bad guy in the galaxy. When you get back, we have a lot of ground to cover.”

Stiffly nodding, he turned and climbed into the cramped cock pit of Poe Dameron's x-wing with Luke at the navigation. Refusing to look down, he turned on his comm link to Luke and with barely a word the two plus BB-8 took off.

Deep inside him, he knew that his death was written so clearly on the wall it was laughable to think nothing else would come of this confrontation. For that, he felt a deep regret. Poe will never get his lover back, the lady Jedi will never see her friend again and mostly, Agent will never have a chance to be anything else than what he knew. He was bitter and angry over the lost time that could've been his, but he was resigned too. This is him: Finn the Stormtrooper; Agent the Harbinger, and lastly: Snoke's soon-to-be killer.

There was no redemption for him he idly mused as his hands flew over the controls, minutely registering breaking atmosphere.But he sure as hell could make a dent before facing whatever damnation he would get upon death. He was going to die niether a coward, nor a hero, nor a villain, but rather; a soldier who chose the right side.

He chose this.He, whoever or whatever title he was, chose this. Purely him and no one else.

“We're dead men.”

“Only if we do this right.” Came the Jedi's calm response.

* * *

 

Rey gripped her lightsaber tightly as her senses picked up on the one man she was supposed to end.

“Kylo.” She whispered as the wind began to pick up, muting the fighting going on just a few hundred yards behind her. Truthfully, she hoped to any diety that she wouldn't need to kill Leia's only child and promised herself that she'll try to knock some sense into him. Although she was an optimist, she was prepared for the worst; she will kill him if he was beyond redemption.

The familiar buzz then hum came just before the imposing figure in black emerged from the thick foliage. He was free of his mask and Rey bit the inside of her cheek as she too activated her own weapon of her creation. The lightsaber staff emanated a deep purple hue as she took a defensive stance.

“We don't have to do this.” Rey calmly spoke.

“Yes, we do Jedi.”

In a span of seconds their light sabers clashed in a stunning display of red and purple. Each of their faces shadowed by the mixed glow as they fought against the weight of the other, their faces separated only by their weapons.

“You're better than this” She vehemenantly whispered.

“I know” He breathed back with steel in his eyes, “But I don't deserve it.” With the use of the force, he sent her flying through the thick under growth and charged her haunched form.

Rey easily regained her posture and parried his incoming blow to her side. Spinning around him she aimed for his neck, however; using his weapon, he put it over his shoulder to block and used the downward momentum to pivot under and away. Her staff scrapped the foiliage, sending the unpleasant smell of burnt mold into the air.

They stood for a tense moment before the fight began in earnest.

* * *

 

“Shields down to eighty” Joosten miniacally grinned, “It'll take them forever to hit us down to fourty.” Twisting a control, he sent his ship sharply to the right, “Fire on my mark.”

“Ready, captain.”

Joosten defly dodged fire until he was close enough to the enemy ship's main engines. “Fire!” He held position for all of a few seconds, enough for his man to get off the right kind of shot.

The following explosion pushed the retreating vessile off course, but it wasn't anything Joosten counldn't correct.

“Gold leader to Deprecor”

“Go ahead” Joosten hit a switch to release coolant unto his rapidly over-heating engines. Ancient piece of junk, he fondly thought.

“Asking for back up against Star destroyer at your four o'clock.”

“Well, can't say no to a pretty thing like you, can I? Deprecor will cover your twelve, when I swerve left you go right capiche?”

“Understood.”

Ignoring the angry beeping of his navigation system, he hit a switch to turn it off. He didn't need it anymore than a Hutt wanted a diet.

“Alright boys, the element of surprise has worn it's welcome. Now it's time to play dirty like the bastards we are.”

A chorus of affirmation rocked his ship and for a moment, Joosten allowed himself to swell with pride at his rag-tag group of mercenaries before he was back to business.

Another one down, countless others to go.

“Get ready to fire on my mark.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am horrible at writing Poe Dameron. I envision him as an emotional bad-ass however; I have noticed the bad-ass part isn't coming through. So I'm re-writing some parts to make he come across the way I envision.  
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this. I'll be gone so I won't post anytime soon. (I know, what else is new?) Adulting just sucks.


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